“Whoa, that hole in the street just keeps getting bigger,” said Jerry.
He was munching on some cheesy pop snacks, licking the orange Cheetle from his fingertips. He was standing near the edge of the growing hole.
“Yeah, it’s getting pretty big I guess,” I said.
Something had fallen from the sky earlier in the morning and punctured the city street. The hole was originally about the size of a softball. Since then it had steadily spread itself out and had grown to the size of a beach-ball.
“What do you suppose it was,” asked Jerry. He continued to lick his orange fingers.
“It’s probably the Planet’s self-esteem plummeting,” I said.
Jerry stopped licking his fingers. He took a step backwards as the hole expanded again in a rubbery shudder.
“Whoa, that was not cool,” said Jerry.
“Definitely not cool,” I said.
A police car pulled up and blocked the North end of the street. Two uniformed officers came up to me and Jerry. The were hard looking cops; as if they were actors hired for their grizzled and hard nose features to portray world weary beat cops.
“So who made this hole,” said the old looking cop.
Jerry and I shrugged and stepped backwards a bit more.
“Hey, he asked you a question,” said the other old looking cop, but not as old looking as the first cop.
“Something fell, from the sky and like went, “shooom, ka-blam-o”, into the street here and then, like this hole formed and it’s been getting bigger since then,” said Jerry.
I nodded in agreement. The sounds were fairly accurate too. “I didn’t see what caused the impact, but it hit right here and WHAM, here it is I guess.”
The two grizzled cops looked at each other but they didn’t say anything to each other. It was as if they were able to communicate telepathically.
“Have either of you been drinking today,” asked old cop number One.
“It’s 9:30 in the morning officer,” I said.
“Are you getting smart with me,” said the Cop.
“No, I just, you know, it’s a little early for me to start drinking,” I said and shrugged at Jerry.
The cops had their hands on the butts of their side arms and they were speaking with us. I hadn’t noticed until taking a step back.
“I don’t like your smart mouth,” said old, but younger, cop.
The hole in the street shuddered again and Jerry and I took another step back. Other pedestrians on the sidewalk began to take notice and congregate a bit as they walked past. A lot only cast a cursory glance; others stopped in their tracks to watch.
“You two, up against the car,” said Old Cop number one.
Jerry looked at me and snickered. “What,” he said in curious disbelief.
The younger old cop drew his side arm and pointed it at Jerry and me. “Get up against the car immediately,” he shouted.
I turned and placed my hands on the nearest parked car and Jerry dropped his empty bag of orange puffs to the street. It blew up in the air and then was sucked into the ever-growing hole.
“Did you see that officer,” I said.
“Shut your smart mouth,” said older Cop as he began to frisk me.
Jerry was also being frisked by the other officer and he looked scared. His eyes, usually so playful and fun, and often a bit bloodshot from all the pot he smoked, were clear and terrified.
“Do not move,” said grizzled old cop. He got on his radio and began speaking in the cop code of numbers and directions and more numbers as some dispatcher responded with their own set of garbled numbers and directions and squawks. The other old, but not so old, cop leaned on Jerry’s back as Jerry leaned against the car hood.
“Officer, you’d putting a lot of weight on my back,” said Jerry.
“Shut up,” said the younger old Cop.
The hole in the street quivered again and expanded once more. It was now the size of a small backyard personal swimming pool. The inflatable size that you could kind of fill with a bicycle pump but never really could.
“Officer,” I said, “I think you should watch your step.”
“Are you threatening me,” asked old Cop, “Is that a threat?”
I looked at Jerry, not sure what to say but Jerry had his eyes closed and his head was now resting on the hood of the parked car as he was bent over. He didn’t look so good.
“No, sir, not a threat, it’s just…,” I started to say, but then the street rumbled and the hole belched.
The cops didn’t seem to see the hole anymore. It didn’t seem to even be a concern. They kept their focus on Jerry and me.
“I don’t like your tone,” said older Cop.
“I’m sorry, but I think you should really watch your step,” I said trying to sound innocent.
“That’s it buddy. You and me got a problem,” said older Cop.
Old cop stepped back from me as if to maybe pull out some handcuffs or a billy club or something but I couldn’t see since my back was to him. I was expecting something terrible, but then the hole belched again, setting off car alarms and rattling some windows.
“Johnny?” said young/old cop as he turned from holding Jerry down against the car.
I turned around slowly and old cop, who I guess was named Johnny, was gone. Where he had been standing was now just part of the hole.
“What did you do,” demanded young/old cop as he trained his firearm on me.
I sat up on the hood of the car, now aware that the hole was inches from my feet. “Whoa, Whoa,” I said, “I didn’t do anything. I think your buddy fell in the hole.”
Young/Old cop looked at the hole and stood near the edge, finally letting Jerry up. I pulled him up onto the hood next to me.
“In the hole?” asked younger yet somehow old cop. He looked down toward the hole. He screamed for Johnny into the hole but there was no answer. The hole surged again with a rumble and the nose of the car Jerry and I were sitting dipped down. We leapt off the hood of the car to the sidewalk on the opposite side. People on the sidewalk screamed and began running. The younger old cop teetered on the edge of the hole. He was waving his arms wildly and fell face forward into the hole.
“Holy crap,” shouted Jerry as we stood back against the building behind us.
The hole belched again. The street shook and the hole lurched. It was bending the asphalt down
and pulling the parked cars around it; like the edge of a waterfall.
“Let’s get our of here,” I said. Jerry nodded. We started to run wildly down the street amid the rush of the people trying to get away.